Short Jokes

Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.

B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

A: Why are you crying?

B: The elephant is dead.

A: Was he your pet?

B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"

TEACHER:" Of course not."

PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?

Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and

long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do

you understand me?

Son: No.

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: I offer you myself.

Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.

Man: I want to share everything with you.

Woman: Let's start from your bank account.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Student: No. I was standing on it.